kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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