And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
