So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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