Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He better not be in your backpack
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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