TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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