Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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