There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
