I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
