Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
