you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
