there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
