The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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