This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
