TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
