No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize