so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
