WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
