i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
