wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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