I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
