I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
