Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this boner is exhausting
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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