did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize