Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
