Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
