Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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