I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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