Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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