Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
