idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
