So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
