C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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