i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
