I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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