It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
