Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
