Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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