I'm drive I can fine osifer
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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