At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize