Im at strip club and am horny
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
