And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
