Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
