So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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