oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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