Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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