he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
