I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
