There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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