We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
