im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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