i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
