If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
