'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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