The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
