He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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