On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry about my life...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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