yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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