I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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