i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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