I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
