Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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