Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
